if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Welp...herpes.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize