Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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