i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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