drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
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Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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