we made out on top of his cat.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
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The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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