You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
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The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
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Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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