There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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