I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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