please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize