You're so nebulous sometimes
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize