My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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