There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize