what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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