Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize