If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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