Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
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the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
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he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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