Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
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talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
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Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize