"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize