haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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