i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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