Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize