I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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