Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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