were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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