no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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