But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
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Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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