You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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