I am midnight drunk by noon
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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