if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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