I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
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Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
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My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize