Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club

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  (248): real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club http://tfl.nu/ouuf
  Replies (1) Good night (950) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.

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  (773): hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her. http://tfl.nu/rlge
  Replies (8) Good night (691) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.

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  (870): These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American. http://tfl.nu/c8e4
  Replies (15) Good night (3876) Bad night (519) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.

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  (604): I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you. http://tfl.nu/twb2
  Replies (20) Good night (1544) Bad night (6616) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost

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  (251): I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost http://tfl.nu/fd0l
  Replies (5) Good night (3638) Bad night (826) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.

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  (678): Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date. http://tfl.nu/ovv7
  Replies (3) Good night (2830) Bad night (723) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome

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  (443): Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome http://tfl.nu/nq8y
  Replies (13) Good night (4704) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail

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  (216): So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail http://tfl.nu/m6e0
  Replies (9) Good night (1193) Bad night (2976) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.

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  (520): I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training. http://tfl.nu/cz3b
  Replies (15) Good night (4366) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying

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  (502): we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying http://tfl.nu/sr7p
  Replies (5) Good night (1578) Bad night (2089) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  ttyl tear gas

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  (604): ttyl tear gas http://tfl.nu/bmdg
  Replies (13) Good night (991) Bad night (2352) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way

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  (925): At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way http://tfl.nu/fo4u
  Replies (5) Good night (639) Bad night (1748) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.

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  (814): I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer. http://tfl.nu/0v9r
  Replies (7) Good night (1386) Bad night (524) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.

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  (206): I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine. http://tfl.nu/p8ml
  Replies (10) Good night (1225) Bad night (564) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.

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  (720): By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air. http://tfl.nu/rzj6
  Replies (3) Good night (1115) Bad night (697) Order T-Shirt

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