My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
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Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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