Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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