Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize