I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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