Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
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He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
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I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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