Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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