i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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