My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize