you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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