So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
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Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
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I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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