just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she woke up with a sticky ear
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
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