The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize