R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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