Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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