I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
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And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
is it fun? or sober?
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