Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize