there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize