I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
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defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
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Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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