Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
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Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
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Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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